Just the Facts

As many people in my circle know, I have been spending a very long time editing, revising and updating the haunted houses book. This is a very big book so it has taken me a long time to go through it. I was working on it every day until I became ill and was hospitalized, then unfortunately, I lost two years of being able to work on it during my recovery. However, after I was fully recovered and able to write again, I got back to work on it.

 

I have been back to work on it ever since. And I am so glad I took up this task to edit and revise the original book!

 

During the time I have been working on it, I have noticed A LOT of mistakes. This particular task of revising and editing the book has also required me to do a lot of fact-checking, as well as digging through historical records. (Yes, I am keeping track of my sources!) Unfortunately, the original source we got a majority of our information from did not do any fact-checking of their own. Therefore, a lot of that information was either flawed or based on urban legends. (I am trying to avoid including urban legends in this book!)

 

That said, I have had to rewrite MANY passages in this book. Finding out that our original source of information was flawed has indeed been alarming. I want to notify them about this, since other visitors to their site might believe that information, too. I also want to see if they can use my own work for that information after the book comes out. (I know the owner of the site, so maybe he will be agreeable to this.)

 

But what I have also noticed are claims about certain haunted houses which I cannot find anywhere in my own research. One of the houses written about in this book, for example, was said to have been investigated by Ed and Lorraine Warren. I would not be surprised if this is true, since the house is located in Connecticut, but I could not find proof of this at all anywhere in my research. Therefore, I did not include that factoid in the revised passage written about that house.

 

What I try to do with this work is stick to the facts. I report only on my findings, not on urban legends or what some people say about a certain haunted house. I only want to report the facts and set records straight.

 

The paranormal field is rife with hype, urban legends and exaggerated claims. I happen to take the paranormal seriously, approaching it with an open and curious mind without being influenced by urban legends or hyperbole. That is the same approach I wish to take with this book. I want this book to tell the truth and not some fiction thought up by someone looking for publicity. If I do find proof of certain claims surrounding a haunted house, I will include it. Otherwise, it’s just a claim that can’t really be backed up, so it gets cut.

 

The Pronoun Problem

As a writing parent, my kids tend to end up in my writing somehow or another. Both my kids are aware that they are in my book, Parenting Pauses: Life as a Deaf Parent. My youngest has been featured and talked about on my blog their whole life. And, of course, I talk about my kids on social media. It’s just something that comes naturally as a writer writing about life.

 

However, I am also the parent of children who are members of the LGBTQ community. My oldest is transgender and my youngest is gay. (I have both kids’ permission to talk about this publicly.) This means that, in some cases, pronouns are not always going to be the same.

 

Case in point: In the book, Totally Scared: The Complete Book on Haunted Houses, which I co-wrote with Martha Jette, I talk about my “daughter” and note the gender as “she/hers.” At this time in my oldest’s life, he did not come out as transgender. As far as I knew, my first child was a girl and referred to in the feminine. The book was published and life moved on.

 

Recently, however, I was putting together another paranormal book. This one is a short book of true ghost stories. In this ebook, I included an excerpt from Totally Scared, quoting some parts of it verbatim. This included excerpts containing my “daughter” – except, nowadays, “she” is a “he” and identified as much in other parts of the ebook. I tried to tiptoe around the pronoun issue in those later parts of the book, except that didn’t work in some cases. “He” was definitely there to stay.

 

When I gave the ebook a final read before sending it out for edits, I did notice this issue. I realized that it may cause some confusion. First my oldest is my “daughter” then my oldest is my “son.” To anyone unaware of why, this would make them wonder whatever happened to my little girl.

 

And before anybody says anything, I completely accept my oldest as transgender. I identify my oldest as “he/him” and refer to him by his new name.

 

Still, I wasn’t sure what the rule for this was, as far as editing and revising goes. So I asked my editor. I explained that I had discussed this with my oldest and got his permission to publicly share that he is transgender. My editor suggested that, after I get the manuscript back, just include a note about the pronoun change in the ebook.

 

Even so, this has made me realize that it’s quite an interesting situation for writers and editors. I mean, what are we supposed to do with past content that has identified someone by a gender that they no longer identify with? What about their dead names? What about them being portrayed in photos as a gender they no longer identify as? What are we supposed to do about all that?

 

I have run into this confusion with people on Facebook, when I share old pictures of my “daughter” who is now my “son.” I have had to explain it many times. It got to where I started to debate whether or not to share those pictures anymore because my oldest is on Facebook and I didn’t want to hurt him by sharing posts containing his dead name. I am still trying to figure that out. Meanwhile, I have been sharing the pictures and explaining when somebody asks.

 

My oldest is also on my personal blog. There are pictures there as well. What am I supposed to do about those? I don’t want to delete them. That’s my past! Those are my stories! I often use the blog to look up information we can no longer remember (like when we adopted our cat).

 

As far as books and writing go, I need to explore this issue further. However, for this particular ebook, I will follow my editor’s suggestions and just include a note. Hopefully that will be enough to avoid confusion for readers.

Just You and I

When it comes to writing a self-help book, or a book meant to assist a certain demographic, the authoring of such books can be tricky. Before I started the editing and revising of a book I began writing years ago, I knew I had to keep the book’s focus clear. I also had to approach the writing of this book not as “the voice of authority” but more like someone who has “been there, done that.”

 

The thing of it is, I am NOT the voice of authority on this topic. Yes, I have years of experience under my belt, but I’m not an expert on the book’s topic. And since it deals with something health-related, I have to be careful. I cannot try to present myself as an expert. I have no medical training and no training as a counselor.

 

I’m just somebody who survived an addiction.

 

That said, I have to keep that in mind as I write it.

 

Now, I don’t like to be boastful. I don’t want the book to be “ALL ABOUT ME” and how I managed to get through an experience for so long. But, the truth is, the readers in that group will WANT that information.

 

I keep thinking of what I would say to someone if they ever asked me how I survived managing an addiction for so long (sadly, alcoholism really cannot be cured!). My answer is always, “Read this book to find out.”

 

So I have to make sure that the writing is more about “I did” this or “I tried” that. You know? Instead of “you should do” this or “you should try” that.

 

In some cases, yes, using the word “you” might be helpful. And I think even the occasional “we” could work, since I am a part of that group and, on some occasions, the things I talk about can go for ALL of us. But, for the most part, using “I” instead of “you” sounds a lot better. And I also think if I write it in a certain way, that even despite it being first-person experiences, it could still be helpful to the audience the book is written for. I believe it could still be useful.

 

Yet, there I was, way past Chapter 10, and trying to figure out HOW to write a chapter on a topic that SHOULD be written by someone who works as a counselor or who is a minister or whatever. It was still a topic I could relate to, because that particular issue was a part of my journey. Unable to figure it out, I stepped away from what I’d written of the chapter so far and decided to just think about it. I did other things. I cooked a meal, did some chores and read a book. It was while I was reading that I figured it out: Keep it all personal. Use “I” instead of “you.” So I went back to that chapter and finished writing it as a personal story.

 

I wrote the rest of that chapter of that book with “I” instead of “you.” Even though the reader may nod in understanding as they read, having been there themselves, I have to keep it all personal, because that’s the kind of book it’s supposed to be. It’s my personal story. But I want it to be a personal story in which readers from that audience can feel empowered and have hope that they, too, can beat the addiction that I struggled with for years (and now going on almost 5 years of being free of it). I say at the beginning of the book that I am not an expert, have no medical training, no training as a therapist and that I don’t have any special letters after my name. I’m just someone who found a way to control the addiction that almost killed me. I’m in that group. I’m in that demographic. It’s a journey we and fellow recovery posse members are all on together.

 

This realization means I will have to revise and edit ALL the previous chapters written up until now, changing the “you” to “I” and making all those stories reflect my personal experience with that particular issue. As far as the writing of the book is concerned, I have to keep the writing personal as I tell my story and share how, in the end, I broke free.

 

Deleted passage from (unpublished) nonfiction book

I am currently revising a nonfiction book that I wrote last year. In one part of the book, I discuss ways of coping with haters (something I have a lot of experience with!). However, there was one thing that I wrote in that book that I was not sure about. I wasn't entirely sure if it was true or not. However, I wrote it because I just wanted to grab the first example I could think of and keep writing the first draft. Now here we are in revisions, and I'm more analytical about the book's content!

 Here is the passage I was feeling iffy about:

"While recovering from alcoholism, I got wind that someone I know was saying that I never really got drunk because I only drank beer. I eventually understood that she was trying to turn it into a competition over what qualifies as a “real drunk” as a way to get me to fail in my attempts. It didn’t work; I stayed sober. I stayed on my path."

I was not 100% certain if this was true. Sure, I had a pretty strong hunch it was true, and I usually trust my gut! But because I didn't have actual proof that it was true and I had no statements from anyone who would actually know, it was not a good idea to use it. Even still, what if it was not true? Including it would be slander. I didn't identify that mysterious "someone" but chances are good their identity would be revealed and if I was wrong, that is slander, and they could sue me for that. So I decided that it was better to toss it. 

I had a better example to use, anyway:

"As someone with burn scars on her face, I dealt with A LOT of bullying as a child. (I was in a car accident as a baby and that is why I am burned.) Even as an adult, I still got strange looks from people and was either avoided or treated badly and I often wondered if it was because of my appearance. However, when I was in my 30s, I made a promise to myself that I was not going to allow this to cause me to hide away from the world. My social anxiety is a daily battle and it’s worsened by the fear that people will judge me and treat me badly because of my scars. And every day, I have to look that fear in the eye and decide to go out into the world anyway! I refuse to live life hidden away in fear because of my scars. Life is too important and there is just so much out there to experience and enjoy. If people judge me or treat me badly because of my appearance, so be it. I will focus instead on people who can look past my scars and treat me like a person. Thankfully, there are people in my life who love, support and accept me despite my scars, and I focus my energy on them. Everybody else is just everybody else!"  

But even with that revision, I have to find out if it was indeed a car accident. I have gotten conflicting accounts over what really happened on that day I was burned. So I need to even check that before releasing the manuscript.

And, yeah, everything else in the revised text is accurate and true. It's probably a better example, anyway. And thankfully, no one can sue me for saying it!
 

Deleted paragraph from new book Parenting Pauses: Learning about new things during edits

While I was going through the final edits on the manuscript for my new book, Parenting Pauses: Life as a Deaf Parent, my editor, Denise Bartlett, sent me an email about one paragraph in particular that caught her eye. She informed me that there is an app available to turn voicemail messages into actual print messages that users can read. I asked for more info about this and she gave me details, as well as how much this has helped her, a HEARING person! I was really excited to learn about this and checked it out. I decided on YouMail, but haven't been able to get it to work on my phone just yet. Hopefully, when I have more time, I can look into it and I hope I can get it set up on my phone. I still receive voicemail messages even to this day.

Here is the paragraph that was deleted:

"One thing that makes me feel this way about cell phones with texting ability is voicemail. I have received so many voicemail messages ever since I started using a cell phone, I swear I’ll need to go into therapy someday if they don’t stop. Of course I can’t use voicemail, because I can’t hear the messages! I have tried to figure out how to turn off voicemail or even block incoming messages, but that’s not possible as of yet. I have had to delete several voicemail messages. Unfortunately, a hearing person thinking they are calling another hearing person gets angry if I don’t return their calls then ends up leaving several voicemail messages one after the other on my phone. This has actually happened from one particular number and it’s always a headache deleting each new voice message after it comes in. Again, I tried to block that number, but no luck there."

Here is the revised paragraph:

"Voicemail used to be a problem for me, because of course I can’t hear any of the messages left on my phone. At first, I elected to just ignore these messages, since the person who was calling my phone obviously did not know me since they didn’t know I was deaf, so it was no big deal. But then I later learned that teachers, schools and even secretaries at doctor offices had tried to reach me through voicemail, all to no avail. After some time, I was informed of an app available for smartphones that turns voicemail messages into a text message, putting what the person said into words. What a wonderful innovation! I have yet to find one that suits my needs for my phone but I have been told that this particular app has been immensely helpful. I could see how it could be helpful to a deaf person receiving voicemail messages."

Check out Parenting Pauses: Life as a Deaf Parent here.

Deleted scene from Shadow of Samhain

This is a deleted scene from my novel, Shadow of Samhain. In this scene, my character, Malissa, is making coffees and her best friend, Sade, pops in for a visit. This scene was used as a way for Malissa to share her good news and to show what kind of friendship the two girls share.

Here is the scene:

“Hey, you!”
Malissa turned from the counter and smiled. She walked over to Sade and hugged her. “Hey yourself. I didn’t hear you come in.”
Sade grinned as she plopped onto one of the barstools lining the other side of the counter. “Your brother let me in,” She pouted. “But he ran away.”
Malissa returned the pout. “I sorry.”
Sade laughed. “I’ll get him one of these days!” She sighed, rubbing her hands up and down her legs. “So. What are you making?”
Malissa grinned as she turned around and walked back over to the blender she’d been throwing things into. “It’s a surprise,” she coyly answered. She grinned as she placed the lid on the blender and turned it on.
“A surprise?” Sade asked from behind her.
Malissa finished blending the ingredients before she heard Sade talk again. “Hey, I’m all for surprises!”
She chuckled as she removed the lid from the blender. “Good! Then that means I don’t have to celebrate all by my lonesome.”
She poured the drink into two transparent coffee cups then set the blender pitcher back down. She picked them up and carried them to the counter. She handed one to Sade. “Try it.”
Sade studied her but took a long swig of the drink just as she did. Malissa inwardly smiled as she noticed her friend’s surprised reaction.
“Hey, that’s pretty good!” Sade said, placing the cup down. “What is it?”
“Mocha caramel frappe. Or something close to it. I think I got it right after trying to make it a hundred times today.”
Sade blinked. “Wow, you must’ve been pretty bored today!”
Malissa grinned, trying to contain her excitement as she shook her head. “Nope! Not bored at all. Actually, I was kinda busy.”
“And that’s why we’re celebrating?” Sade asked.
Malissa leaned toward her. “I got a job.”
Sade jumped up. “All right!” They cheered and fell into an embrace. Malissa laughed as she moved away. “I now officially work at The Mighty Bean!”
“That’s awesome!” Sade nudged her. “Hey, maybe you can get me a discount sometime.”
Malissa laughed. “Sure, sure.”
Sade picked up her drink again and assumed a serious air as she held it up, ready for a toast. “To a new beginning.”
Malissa grinned, clinking her cup with her friend’s. “To a new beginning.”
As she drank from her cup, Sade thoughtfully added, “And maybe a hot date every once in a while.”
Malissa almost spit out her drink as she laughed. “One thing at a time, Sade,” she reminded after she recomposed herself. “The first thing I have to do is call my parents and give them the news.”
“And while you’re at it, clean that junk out of your room.”
Malissa thought about this. She knew exactly what kind of stuff in her room was the “junk” Sade was referring to. And, the more she thought about it, the more she realized that her friend was right. Just as it was time to put away childish things once someone grew up, it was time for her to put away her dream things now that she had her footing in the world. Now that she could actually survive on her own. She would have to survive without the dream obsession.
“Yes,” she said, considering this change. “Yes, you are probably right.”


REASON FOR CUTTING:

At first, I was thinking of using this scene at a later part of the book. But as I worked more on this new draft, I realized that this particular scene didn't work anymore, for two reasons:

1. I had to show that Sade, my character's best friend who was moving in with her, was actually trying to HELP Malissa instead of once again saying something like "They're just dreams! Get over it!" It would take something else for Sade to actually help Malissa with her dream problem, so I completely changed gears.

2. Malissa actually shares the news about her job with her family. In the final scene where this happens, a new plot twist takes place and so I decided to "kill two birds with one stone" and use Malissa's announcement and a change in the story, as well as revealing something about a character, all in that one scene.


Check out Shadow of Samhain here (with excerpt) and here (Amazon link).