Removing Material from an Article That is Too Long

 I recently wrote an article for the website, Reference.com. Before I get to work writing my articles, I take note of what my word-count limit is. Nothing irritates a client more than agreeing to pay for a 1000-word article and receiving an article that is 2000 words or more – and the writer expecting them to "just trim off what you don't want." That is not your client's job. That is YOUR job! You are the writer with ALL of the information and all of the sources. You need to be the one to decide how much will get trimmed if an article is too long, as well as what exactly will need to be trimmed.

 

In some cases, it can be difficult to figure out what to remove from an article that is too long. This can be a hard decision, as the writer may feel that ALL of the information is important.

 

I was in that "all of the information is important" boat with my article for that site. I was writing about illnesses in bearded dragons and signs to look for if they are sick. I wanted to include as many illnesses as possible. Unfortunately, that meant going over my word count. So I decided one of them would have to go.

 

Unfortunately, I wasn't sure just what I should remove!

 

So I turned to my oldest, who actually has a bearded dragon and who did research on beardies before having one as a pet. He suggested what I should remove and, after removal, my article was once again in the safe zone. Yay!

 

Here is what got cut from my article:

 

A fatal illness

 

Adenovirus infection is a serious infection for bearded dragons and can usually be fatal. Dr. Vickstrom noted, "Sometimes chronic underlying infections, such as occur with adenovirus, predispose a bearded dragon to other illnesses." It is usually referred to as “wasting disease” and is contagious, so an infected bearded dragon should be isolated from other lizards.

 

This infection is caused by a parasite. Good steps towards prevention are to keep your dragon’s enclosure clean, throw out uneaten and old food, and properly disinfect any tools or equipment after each use. Symptoms include weight loss, a prostrate figure, seizures, an arched head or upright tail, uncontrolled rolling and twitching of the toes and tail. Medication can be administered.

https://reptilesmagazine.com/atadenovirus-this-disease-can-be-deadly-to-your-bearded-dragon/  (Source)

 

 

Reason it got cut: “It’s the least common concern out of all the stuff listed.”

The Pronoun Problem

As a writing parent, my kids tend to end up in my writing somehow or another. Both my kids are aware that they are in my book, Parenting Pauses: Life as a Deaf Parent. My youngest has been featured and talked about on my blog their whole life. And, of course, I talk about my kids on social media. It’s just something that comes naturally as a writer writing about life.

 

However, I am also the parent of children who are members of the LGBTQ community. My oldest is transgender and my youngest is gay. (I have both kids’ permission to talk about this publicly.) This means that, in some cases, pronouns are not always going to be the same.

 

Case in point: In the book, Totally Scared: The Complete Book on Haunted Houses, which I co-wrote with Martha Jette, I talk about my “daughter” and note the gender as “she/hers.” At this time in my oldest’s life, he did not come out as transgender. As far as I knew, my first child was a girl and referred to in the feminine. The book was published and life moved on.

 

Recently, however, I was putting together another paranormal book. This one is a short book of true ghost stories. In this ebook, I included an excerpt from Totally Scared, quoting some parts of it verbatim. This included excerpts containing my “daughter” – except, nowadays, “she” is a “he” and identified as much in other parts of the ebook. I tried to tiptoe around the pronoun issue in those later parts of the book, except that didn’t work in some cases. “He” was definitely there to stay.

 

When I gave the ebook a final read before sending it out for edits, I did notice this issue. I realized that it may cause some confusion. First my oldest is my “daughter” then my oldest is my “son.” To anyone unaware of why, this would make them wonder whatever happened to my little girl.

 

And before anybody says anything, I completely accept my oldest as transgender. I identify my oldest as “he/him” and refer to him by his new name.

 

Still, I wasn’t sure what the rule for this was, as far as editing and revising goes. So I asked my editor. I explained that I had discussed this with my oldest and got his permission to publicly share that he is transgender. My editor suggested that, after I get the manuscript back, just include a note about the pronoun change in the ebook.

 

Even so, this has made me realize that it’s quite an interesting situation for writers and editors. I mean, what are we supposed to do with past content that has identified someone by a gender that they no longer identify with? What about their dead names? What about them being portrayed in photos as a gender they no longer identify as? What are we supposed to do about all that?

 

I have run into this confusion with people on Facebook, when I share old pictures of my “daughter” who is now my “son.” I have had to explain it many times. It got to where I started to debate whether or not to share those pictures anymore because my oldest is on Facebook and I didn’t want to hurt him by sharing posts containing his dead name. I am still trying to figure that out. Meanwhile, I have been sharing the pictures and explaining when somebody asks.

 

My oldest is also on my personal blog. There are pictures there as well. What am I supposed to do about those? I don’t want to delete them. That’s my past! Those are my stories! I often use the blog to look up information we can no longer remember (like when we adopted our cat).

 

As far as books and writing go, I need to explore this issue further. However, for this particular ebook, I will follow my editor’s suggestions and just include a note. Hopefully that will be enough to avoid confusion for readers.

Deleted scene from Shadow of Samhain

This is a deleted scene from my novel, Shadow of Samhain. In this scene, my character, Malissa, is making coffees and her best friend, Sade, pops in for a visit. This scene was used as a way for Malissa to share her good news and to show what kind of friendship the two girls share.

Here is the scene:

“Hey, you!”
Malissa turned from the counter and smiled. She walked over to Sade and hugged her. “Hey yourself. I didn’t hear you come in.”
Sade grinned as she plopped onto one of the barstools lining the other side of the counter. “Your brother let me in,” She pouted. “But he ran away.”
Malissa returned the pout. “I sorry.”
Sade laughed. “I’ll get him one of these days!” She sighed, rubbing her hands up and down her legs. “So. What are you making?”
Malissa grinned as she turned around and walked back over to the blender she’d been throwing things into. “It’s a surprise,” she coyly answered. She grinned as she placed the lid on the blender and turned it on.
“A surprise?” Sade asked from behind her.
Malissa finished blending the ingredients before she heard Sade talk again. “Hey, I’m all for surprises!”
She chuckled as she removed the lid from the blender. “Good! Then that means I don’t have to celebrate all by my lonesome.”
She poured the drink into two transparent coffee cups then set the blender pitcher back down. She picked them up and carried them to the counter. She handed one to Sade. “Try it.”
Sade studied her but took a long swig of the drink just as she did. Malissa inwardly smiled as she noticed her friend’s surprised reaction.
“Hey, that’s pretty good!” Sade said, placing the cup down. “What is it?”
“Mocha caramel frappe. Or something close to it. I think I got it right after trying to make it a hundred times today.”
Sade blinked. “Wow, you must’ve been pretty bored today!”
Malissa grinned, trying to contain her excitement as she shook her head. “Nope! Not bored at all. Actually, I was kinda busy.”
“And that’s why we’re celebrating?” Sade asked.
Malissa leaned toward her. “I got a job.”
Sade jumped up. “All right!” They cheered and fell into an embrace. Malissa laughed as she moved away. “I now officially work at The Mighty Bean!”
“That’s awesome!” Sade nudged her. “Hey, maybe you can get me a discount sometime.”
Malissa laughed. “Sure, sure.”
Sade picked up her drink again and assumed a serious air as she held it up, ready for a toast. “To a new beginning.”
Malissa grinned, clinking her cup with her friend’s. “To a new beginning.”
As she drank from her cup, Sade thoughtfully added, “And maybe a hot date every once in a while.”
Malissa almost spit out her drink as she laughed. “One thing at a time, Sade,” she reminded after she recomposed herself. “The first thing I have to do is call my parents and give them the news.”
“And while you’re at it, clean that junk out of your room.”
Malissa thought about this. She knew exactly what kind of stuff in her room was the “junk” Sade was referring to. And, the more she thought about it, the more she realized that her friend was right. Just as it was time to put away childish things once someone grew up, it was time for her to put away her dream things now that she had her footing in the world. Now that she could actually survive on her own. She would have to survive without the dream obsession.
“Yes,” she said, considering this change. “Yes, you are probably right.”


REASON FOR CUTTING:

At first, I was thinking of using this scene at a later part of the book. But as I worked more on this new draft, I realized that this particular scene didn't work anymore, for two reasons:

1. I had to show that Sade, my character's best friend who was moving in with her, was actually trying to HELP Malissa instead of once again saying something like "They're just dreams! Get over it!" It would take something else for Sade to actually help Malissa with her dream problem, so I completely changed gears.

2. Malissa actually shares the news about her job with her family. In the final scene where this happens, a new plot twist takes place and so I decided to "kill two birds with one stone" and use Malissa's announcement and a change in the story, as well as revealing something about a character, all in that one scene.


Check out Shadow of Samhain here (with excerpt) and here (Amazon link).