Sunday, September 30, 2012

Do gargoyles get cold?

Recently, I completed writing poems for a poetry book my daughter invited me to co-author with her. The poetry book is a collection of poems about mythological creatures. The manuscript is nearly complete and we are submitting it very soon (as in, tomorrow!). Over the weekend, I have gone over my poems, editing and revising where needed. One poem was changed a bit. This particular poem has a gargoyle in it.

In the poem, the gargoyle goes into a boy's house and tells him it's too cold to stay outside. But as I went over the poem again, I started to wonder if "gargoyles getting cold" was a good idea I wanted to pass on to young readers (since the book is for kids). What if they started to get worried about all the gargoyles getting cold? Especially during the winter when they are covered with snow. I have seen both The Hunchback of Notre Dame movies, but I don't recall the gargoyles in those movies getting cold. Not sure if this has been put forth in other kids' movies or TV shows.

Still, I didn't want to cause any worry or concern.

So instead of making the gargoyle come into a warm and toasty home because he was cold, I revised the poem and made it where he came in just because he was uncomfortable sitting up on the roof. Surely, there must be at least one gargoyle out there in the wold who gets a bit uncomfortable from time to time while perched up on the roof.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

The wrong POV

My point-of-view (POV) was playing a trick on me again. 

As a writer, I know how important POV is. The idea when using POV is to remain consistent. Remain in ONE person's POV during each episode or scene. Sometimes, however, I end up head-hopping or include someone else's POV in a chapter when the chapter is supposed to be written in another character's POV.

Whoops!

This is one of my faults as a writer and it can happen very easily. Sometimes, I may not even catch this mistake during edits! Still, I know I have to watch out for it when rereading manuscripts.


While working on the rewrites for Shadow of Samhain, I came across one scene in a chapter that presented two problems: One, that it was in the wrong character's POV and, two, it was one scene too many! My goal with each chapter was to keep it to two scenes (though an extra might've snuck in there somewhere). Since I had to have something else much more important happen in that very chapter, this scene got cut. I summarized what happened in this scene in my character's thoughts during the scene that followed, so it was all good.

Here is the scene:


The phone rang and Janay leaned against the wall as she answered it. “Hello?”
 

“Hi, Mom. It’s me.”
 

She smiled. “Hi, Malissa! I’m so glad that you’ve called!”
 

There was a silence, then Malissa asked, “Why?”
 

“Well, because we haven’t heard from you for a while,” Janay said, smiling as she sat at the kitchen table. She made sure her brown suede skirt wasn’t crumpled as she sat down and she adjusted the gold necklace with a golden heart locket across her white short-sleeved blouse. She moved a strand of hair from her eyes, putting it with the other straying hairs from the bun she had her hair up in. It was strange for her daughter to ask why she was glad to hear from her, but decided not to pursue it. She also decided not to pursue why her daughter sounded so uneasy. “How’s school?”
 

“Oh, school’s real good, Mom. The semester is out in just a few days and I think I did good on my finals.”
 

She nodded. Her daughter sounded more comfortable now. “That’s really great, honey. I’m sure you did very well. Are you going to come visit us for Christmas?”
 

“Oh, yeah, probably.” There was a pause, then she sounded uncomfortable again as she said, “Mom, I wanted to ask you about something.”
 

“What’s that?”
 

Another pause. “Well, um ... did you send me my old journal in the mail?”
 

She grinned. “Yes, I did. Did you get it?”
 

“Yes.” Another pause. “How did you find it?”
 

“Oh. Well, the night before I found it, I had a dream about this man. He told me that you needed your journal. I had no idea what he meant or why he was telling me this. That was all that he said: ‘Malissa needs the journal.’ I tried to ask him questions but it’s like he couldn’t hear me talking to him. I had actually found your journal in your room.” She bit her lip. Maybe she shouldn’t add that she had read the thing from front to back.
 

She smiled as she waited for her daughter’s response, remembering her dream. She had never seen the man in her dreams before, but he had a strange sense about him. She’d felt as though he was a part of her in some way. He was dressed all in white robes and he looked like an angel. Janay remembered how she had felt so secure and happy after she awoke from that dream.
 

The seconds ticked away and Malissa still hadn’t said anything. Was she doing something else now? If so, she was doing it awful quietly. She looked down at the placemat on the table, deciding to give her daughter a few minutes more as she absently tapped it with her manicured nail.
 

Malissa still wasn’t saying anything. She heard her steadily breathing on the other end, but didn’t even hear her whisper a response.
 

She moved the receiver from her ear to give it a quick inspection, ensuring the cord was still connected to it, then held it against her ear again. “Malissa?”
 

When she heard Malissa speak again, the voice on the other line sounded so alien, she at first thought it wasn’t her daughter. It must have been fear gripping Malissa’s throat as she managed to slowly ask, “What did this man look like?”


Friday, February 24, 2012

The wrong motive

For a change, I am posting something on here that was cut from something I am CURRENTLY working on and something not yet published.

This is from my first ever sci-fi short story. I started it up years ago but never finished it. I could not decide on an ending then and I can't figure out an ending now. I have discovered that one reason why I can't decide on an ending (I have several ideas) is because I can't figure out my antagonist's motive for doing what he did in the story. (His name is John Jake Pitt.) Right now, I am at the part where he is holding my main character, Robert Altman, captive and he owes up to what he did. I realized that this particular motive wasn't going to work because it was just not realistic enough for it to make the plot work. So I have cut it from my story. (I will press on and hopefully complete this thing!)


Memories of what Pitt had done flashed through his mind. He growled, suddenly grateful for the restraints holding him back because he was ready to beat the shit out of the guy. “You son of a bitch! Don’t you realize what you’ve done! You’ve corrupted an entire alien race! We’re supposed to be studying them and learning about them, not interbreeding with them!”
Pitt shook his head again. “You’re wasting your breath yelling at me, Bob. It’s not going to do any good. There’s already a good population of the alien/human hybrids on Earth. You’re too late to do anything about it.”
Altman leveled his gaze. “How many?” When Pitt didn’t answer, he gritted his teeth again. “How many!”
Pitt shook his head. “It’s hard to say. Two, maybe three.”
“Hundred?”
He shook his head. “Thousand.”
Altman felt a whoosh of dizziness swim over him. It was a good thing he was sitting down. “My God.”
“Oh, God would never have thought of doing something like this. This, Bob, is the future of intelligent life. This is what’s going to save future generations of the human race. We know how the alien/human hybrids fare on Earth, but we haven’t studied them enough to know how they’ll fare on other worlds, other planets. Sadly, some have died when we tried to see if they could survive on planets in the Habitable Zone. Cronus, Spartan. But there are other planets out there, and if we find the right match, then the human race can be gone before Earth is.”
“Do you even hear yourself? You’re talking about replacing humankind with a hybrid. What makes you think this would work? That people would even go along with it?”
He shrugged. “Well, it’s a start.”


REASON FOR CUTTING: Not realistic enough to work.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

The wrong kind of introductory paragraph

"Confession time: I’m a word junkie. But, you know what? So are a lot of other writers. We love writing words and we love reading words, too. And I must admit that I read A LOT of words. Even though I planned to cut down on book reviewing this year, that just ain’t happening. It seems I’ve gotten used to reading 3 different books at a time (it helps to space out those reading periods and add some writing time in between!) and I’m still doing that. And I’m still scouring news sites and reading a boatload of magazines and even E-newsletters. Old habits, and all."

REASON FOR CUTTING: This was an introductory paragr
aph to a blog post on my writing blog. After some thought, I realized that being a "word junkie" was not the right slant I wanted to take related to my reasons for the blog post. So it was removed.

Read this blog post here:

Got an idea for something to write? Write it!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Deleted Bible Verses

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:35)


REASON FOR CUTTING: Something different this time. I didn't cut
these from my article; the editor did. Too many, I guess. It was hard to choose short verses to include in this article because I liked all of the ones I found on this site.

Read this article here:
Ideas for Games to Play at Christian Women's Group Meetings

Monday, March 28, 2011

Halloween games for kids

Witch's Brew
Set up a plastic toy “cauldron” in the center of the room. Write down a list of silly items used for a brew, such as “Hair of Toad” and “Lizard’s Tail,” and place this list next to the cauldron. If the children are too young to read, draw a picture such as a star, square or heart next to the ingredient. Next, take as many small sport bottles needed for the ingredients and pour liquids such as apple juice, lemonade and water into each one. Attach a label with the name of the ingredient on the sport bottle, along with its visual key. Hide the sport bottles in various places of the room. Instruct the children to find all of the ingredients and pour them into the cauldron. The last one to find a hidden ingredient is the winner.


Decorate the Pumpkin
Cut a large pumpkin from orange construction paper. Cut several eyes, noses and mouths from black construction paper. Place each in a small envelope. Hide the envelopes in a room. Children must find the facial features for the pumpkin and take turns gluing the right item on. The last one to glue on their facial feature to form a complete face on the pumpkin wins the game.


REASON FOR CUTTING: Word count limit exceeded.

Read this article here:
Halloween Games to Make for Young Children

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Annual Festival for the Balafon Drum

This drum has garnered so much popularity that an entire annual festival is devoted to the balafon in Mali.

REASON FOR CUTTING:

It was not relevant to the article. Also, the word length was long enough.

Read this article here:

Ancient African Drums