It Got Cut

The wrong kind of introductory paragraph

2012-01-29T08:57:00.000-08:00

"Confession time: I’m a word junkie. But, you know what? So are a lot of other writers. We love writing words and we love reading words, too. And I must admit that I read A LOT of words. Even though I planned to cut down on book reviewing this year, that just ain’t happening. It seems I’ve gotten used to reading 3 different books at a time (it helps to space out those reading periods and add some writing time in between!) and I’m still doing that. And I’m still scouring news sites and reading a boatload of magazines and even E-newsletters. Old habits, and all."

REASON FOR CUTTING: This was an introductory paragraph to a blog post on my writing blog. After some thought, I realized that being a "word junkie" was not the right slant I wanted to take related to my reasons for the blog post. So it was removed.

Read this blog post here:

Got an idea for something to write? Write it!

Deleted Bible Verses

2011-04-09T11:04:00.000-07:00

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:35)

REASON FOR CUTTING: Something different this time. I didn't cut these from my article; the editor did. Too many, I guess. It was hard to choose short verses to include in this article because I liked all of the ones I found on this site.

Read this article here:
Ideas for Games to Play at Christian Women's Group Meetings

Halloween games for kids

2011-03-28T16:37:00.000-07:00

Witch's Brew
Set up a plastic toy “cauldron” in the center of the room. Write down a list of silly items used for a brew, such as “Hair of Toad” and “Lizard’s Tail,” and place this list next to the cauldron. If the children are too young to read, draw a picture such as a star, square or heart next to the ingredient. Next, take as many small sport bottles needed for the ingredients and pour liquids such as apple juice, lemonade and water into each one. Attach a label with the name of the ingredient on the sport bottle, along with its visual key. Hide the sport bottles in various places of the room. Instruct the children to find all of the ingredients and pour them into the cauldron. The last one to find a hidden ingredient is the winner.

Decorate the Pumpkin
Cut a large pumpkin from orange construction paper. Cut several eyes, noses and mouths from black construction paper. Place each in a small envelope. Hide the envelopes in a room. Children must find the facial features for the pumpkin and take turns gluing the right item on. The last one to glue on their facial feature to form a complete face on the pumpkin wins the game.

REASON FOR CUTTING: Word count limit exceeded.

Read this article here:
Halloween Games to Make for Young Children

Annual Festival for the Balafon Drum

2011-03-27T19:02:00.000-07:00

This drum has garnered so much popularity that an entire annual festival is devoted to the balafon in Mali.

REASON FOR CUTTING:

It was not relevant to the article. Also, the word length was long enough.

Read this article here:

Ancient African Drums

These aren't avatar games

2011-02-26T20:01:00.000-08:00

Babydow
With Babydow, the avatar is a baby. The game begins with the baby’s birth; players can choose boy or girl and how their baby will look. Boys are born in cabbages and girls in roses. From there, players get their own “baby page,” complete with their baby’s photo. The baby page allows them to monitor their baby’s wellness, growth and abilities. The player can play with their baby, show affection, feed their baby or give their baby a bath. A boutique allows players to “buy” things for their baby, such as food, clothes and nappies.
http://www.babydow.com/

Howrse
Howrse is a great game for kids who want to learn about horses. Their avatar is either a pony or horse which players can name and choose the breed of. If players choose a pony, their pony lives with their mother until the age of 6 months, when they will join an equestrian center. Players feed and care for their pony and horse. Follow the quests to help your pony or horse eat, be groomed and participate in competitions. The Breeder’s Manual instructs players on how to care for their horse. Players earn points, called “equu,” which they can use to buy items for their horse or purchase other horses.
http://www.howrse.com/

REASON FOR CUTTING: I got caught up in looking up games for kids and forgot I needed AVATAR games. Whoops.

Read my article on avatar games for kids here: Avatar Games That are for Children and Not for Teens

The lone comment

2011-01-30T11:34:00.000-08:00

She warns that "simple" and "simplistic" are not interchangeable.

REASON FOR CUTTING: I didn't know where to go with that thought. Include a link to where readers can learn the difference? Cite where I have seen such words used incorrectly? Include what it says in the book instead?

Read my review of Carolyn Howard Johnson's booklet, Great Little Last-Minute Editing Tips, here.

Keeping personal feelings out of a book review

2010-11-27T11:50:00.000-08:00

There is one part of this book that really troubled me. As a mother, I wanted to get into that story, and pull Fee away from the ceremoy screaming, "No, stop! She's too young!"

As a teenager, this whole thing may seem romantic and it may even inspire feelings of true love. I have so BEEN THERE! I remember when I was Fee's age, had fallen in love with someone, wanted to do this exact same kind of thing with him and live happily ever after. Every girl this age could fall into that kind of fantasy so easily. And even think, "Gee, it's a good idea!"

But it's not. It is so NOT a good idea, especially for a girl so young. She has her whole life ahead of her. Who knows what the future will bring? She will grow, mature -- and maybe even fall out of love with Faron. It was so wrong to expect a naive, emotionally-troubled and idealistic 16-year-old girl to choose her one true love to stay with forever.

True, this is a fantasy story. In fantasy, we like to think that true love really does conquer all. But I have spent too much time in the real world to know that fantasy has no place in a real world relationship between male and female. So this whole scene left a real sour taste in my mouth.

It was also hurtful that Fee did not even include her mother in this. I know that even if my own daughter made such a bad choice, I would still love her and support her -- and be by her side no matter what. And I know that, as a mother, I would be hurt if I was not at least included in such an event.

REASON FOR CUTTING: Too personal and it may give away an important event that takes place in the story.

Read this book review here: Dividing Dark by Melissa Swaim

Raising a child's self-esteem

2009-11-09T10:03:00.000-08:00

Learning a new skill or indulging in a hobby are other great ways to enhance a child’s self-esteem. This helps them to feel good about themselves and their abilities to learn new things. It also allows the child to feel that they are smarter for being able to learn so much about this new facet of their life. Ideas can be as varied as learning a new language, learning how to play an instrument, collecting rocks, birdwatching and swimming.

REASON FOR CUTTING: Word count limit exceeded.

Read this article here: How to Enhance a Child's Self-Esteem

Global warming: Fact or fiction?

2009-09-06T08:24:00.000-07:00

"Several debates rage over theories about how the planet was formed and how it is thriving – or not thriving."

CHANGED TO:

"The global warming scare has made plenty of people become more aware of the impact they have on the planet, but one has to ask if this theory can actually be fact or just a lot of hot air."

CHANGED "can actually be fact" to "is actual fact."

CHANGED "one has to ask if this theory is actual fact" to a question format.

CHANGED "Another claim adding fuel to this debate that global warming is a myth" to "another claim that global warming is a myth" Needed the sentence to be shorter.

CHANGED "Another point which the proponents make" to "Another point they make" because of word limit.

CHANGED "Bottom line, whether or not global warming is real, the fact remains that all human inhabitants of this earth" to omit "the fact remains." Felt it was irrelevant since I started the sentence with "bottom line."

CHANGED "all human inhabitants of this earth should take steps to care for our environment" to "all human inhabitants of our home planet should care for our environment." I felt that calling Earth our "home planet" would have a stronger emotional impact and cause some sensitive readers to feel that attachment to our planet.

Read this article here: Is Global Warming a Myth?

Tips for checking out a childcare provider

2009-05-23T13:08:00.000-07:00

Ask for references, talk to clients, carefully observe the environment, hang out with the children and watch how the child care provider works.

REASON FOR CUTTING: Word count limit exceeded.

Read this Article Here: How to Find Child Care

Sleep remedies for children

2009-04-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

"Caffeine does stay in your bloodstream for several hours."

"Try the above tips for a few days to see if they help your child fall into a sleep routine. Give things a few days to work before turning to outside sources of help in assisting your child’s sleep problems."

REASON FOR CUTTING: Word count limit exceeded.

Read this article here: Natural Sleep Aids for Children

Advice for women buying a car

2009-04-25T07:56:00.000-07:00

Following your research, try to have the money you’re willing to pay on you when you go to the car lot. Let the salesman know you have cash ready to pay. This will change their tune and they’ll be more willing to work with you in negotiating a price.

Give yourself a day or two to decide if that car and that price is what you are willing to go with.

REASON FOR CUTTING: Word count limit exceeded.

Read this article here: A Woman's Car Buying Guide

Tips for childproofing your home

2009-04-14T10:28:00.000-07:00

Check the walls of your home for chipped or flaked paint. This can lead to lead poisoning if the paint contains lead. Hire a professional to remove it.

Use doorknob covers and hook-and-eye locks on doors to keep children out of certain rooms. Also, keep items children can’t touch – such as framed photos, fine china and jewelry – in these “off-limit” rooms.

REASON FOR CUTTING: Word count limit exceeded.

Read this article here: How to Child Proof Your Home

Home remedies for Candida

2009-04-13T09:56:00.000-07:00

As a part of your regular diet, yogurt can help prevent the growth and spread of yeasts that would lead to an infection.

Another suggestion has been to soak a tampon in curds and insert it into the area twice a day.

(Cut from the paragraph discussing an alternative to eating yogurt) These (acidophilus) pills are available from your local health food store and they act as a stronger force compared to yogurt in going straight to the infected area to do what it does best.

(Cut from the paragraph on buttermilk): Not only is it good for you but it has been reported to prevent the onset of a yeast infection.

REASON FOR CUTTING: Word count limit exceeded.

Read this article here: Home Remedies to Cure Candida

Fun things to do on a second date

2009-04-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

Play pool.
Why it rocks: You get to see how you both socialize with others in a public setting, have fun together and invite playful moments.

Take a hike.
Why it rocks: You both get to enjoy the outdoors, see how you handle emergencies or unique situations should they happen, and show off your physical agility.

Have a picnic.
Why it rocks: You get to have some cuddle time enjoying foods you both like, or even trying out new kinds of foods and showing off any of your culinary skills, and you get to take in a great view while having a chance to talk.

Go boating.
Why it rocks: If you’re a skilled boater, you get to show off just how well you can handle a boat. If not, a boat tour is a great chance to cuddle together while enjoying aquatic beauty and having time to talk in a comfortable, quiet environment. And it’s just the two of you on one boat.

Go fishing.
Why it rocks: If nothing else, fishing is a great way to get in some quiet time to just download or talk. It’s also a great chance to show how well you can work together, tolerate frustrations (every fishing expedition has one), and be creative in figuring out where to fish.

REASON FOR CUTTING: Word count limit exceeded.

Read this article here: Fun Second Date Ideas

Areas of interest in Alaska

2009-03-25T16:26:00.000-07:00

From this paragraph:

"Alaska is famous for its national parks. Some of their parks include the Denali National Park, Glacier Bay National Park, Kenai Fjords National Park, Kluane National Park and Wrangell St. Elias National Park."

I deleted the sentence: "You are bound to find many which offer wildlife attractions, mountains and aquatic areas to enjoy."

From this paragraph:

"The Elmendorf State Fish Hatchery, also in Anchorage, is another great destination. Operated by the state’s fish and game department, it offers salmon viewing in late May through July, as well as August through mid-September."

I deleted the sentence: "This is more of an ideal place to visit if you’re into fishing and the outdoors."

Changed "In addition to displaying everything about this state’s history" to just "additionally."

Got rid of the crutch words like "definitely" and "just."

Changed "The Alaska SeaLife Center in Seward is one place you won’t want to leave off your itinerary" to "Don't leave the Alaska SeaLife Center off your itinerary." The revised sentence seems to be more active.

REASON FOR CUTTING: Word count limit and poor writing.

Read this article here:
Places to Visit in Alaska

Native custom in Guam

2009-02-05T06:08:00.000-08:00

One main fact about Guam is that natives like to hold parties and festivals for all kinds of occasions. Guam law states that every citizen is invited to all parties, but if you are a guest to the country and somehow find yourself attending one, be sure to take a dish to share. All parties are potlucks.

REASON FOR CUTTING: Word count exceeded.

Read this article here:
Vacationing in Guam

Pros and cons of having a green roof

2009-02-03T06:06:00.000-08:00

The advantages of having a green roof are both environmental and economical. On one hand, they can reduce your heating bill by up to 40% because they act as a natural air conditioner by increasing the insulation levels in your roof. They also keep homes cooler during hot seasons because of evaporative cooling. On another hand, they reduce stormwater run-off and filter pollutants out of rainwater. They also use recycled materials and use natural resources. It also reduces noise pollution in your home. Sounds from planes, machinery, cars, etc., are either reflected, deflected or absorbed. On top of this, they are more sustainable, lasting for up to 75 years if maintained well.

The disadvantages of having a green roof is the price (some can cost as much as $4000 to install) and the high maintenance. Done correctly, you won’t have to worry too much about maintaining the greenery but you will have to occasionally check and make sure everything is as it should be. Additionally, the roots can penetrate the waterproofing membrane, risking collapse.

REASON FOR CUTTING: Word count limit was exceeded.

Read this article here: How to Install a Green Roof